Angela Nicole Parker

I'm OVER Christmas!

Don't get me wrong,I'm not over the amazing decorations, neighborhoods turned Christmas paradises, and drinking hot coco and eating cookies while watching Christmas Vacation, but I am over the gluttony in all forms that this Holiday seems to bring. Here are five things that has me over Christmas ----

1) Gift Giving

I'm going to keep it real, anyone who says that the joy of Christmas lies in giving to others is a damn lie. There is nothing joyful about spending your money on other people. Think about it, shopping is something that most of us love to do, hell it's my favorite form of relaxation, but spending hours picking out stuff for other people  is just draining. Then their is all the family politics involved. For example, I have two nieces and a nephew so I have to find a way to give them gifts that all scream equality as opposed to favoritism. Whatever I bought for one had to be an equal value to what I got the other and if I saw something else Niece #1 might like, I had to gt it for Niece #2, then I had to take Nephew into account. Or how about this, I was going to buy my mother a designer handbag, I had it all picked out, but my Dad had forgotten their anniversary two weeks before and was still in the doghouse, so I recommended that he get the purse, which he did. I bought a wallet and was happy with my choice before I realized that next to her new beautiful and EXPENSIVE designer bag, my wallet was going to look cheap. I had to get her another gift. There is nothing worse then a mom's what's this cheap shit look. You know what I am talking about, you've all seen it. Which brings me to my next point about gifts ---YOU ARE NEVER DONE BUYING THEM! Just when you breathe easy with the knowledge you are done, Betsy Co-worker, who has never given you jack before, even when you were baking homemade cookies and putting them in fancy jars, ambushes you with a gift. Now you are screwed because you have to take it. You can't tell somebody thanks, but no thanks, for a gift they've give you, well not if you still want to be friends, so it's back to the store for you...

2) Time Tricks

Have you ever noticed that the week before Christmas times seems to speed up at an almost unnatural pace? Any other week those minutes would eek by, especially between the hours of 9-5, now you've blinked and it's two days before Christmas and you still  have gifts to buy, and wrap, and you find yourself
at TJMAXX at 9 p.m. two days in a row in a vain attempt to get on top of your shopping...

3)  Program Overload

In the span of two weeks, I've been to two Christmas programs, three Christmas parties, one pageant and three dinners and I have to ask, 'Why does everybody have their holiday programs on the same damn day?" And of course, all these Christmas things involve family members and friends who would be CRUSHED if you didn't make an appearance. I understand that, but how about cutting others a break when it comes to the Yuletide Cheer? Come on people, Christmas is on December 25 every year. That gives you plenty of time to plan. Guess what, you have the whole month of December, you don't have to do everything the week before, a Christmas Pageant is still a Christmas Pageant if you do it on December 4th and not December 14th, k....

4) Good Eats

There is just too many things that involve food this season and thus I have been eating, really eating. The good news is that the food has been amazing, the bad news is that I am the types who just looks at food that's not made by Weight Watchers, Lean Cuisine or Jenny Craig and Kabaam the fat cometh. This, of course means that "losing weight" will still be New Year's Resolution number one.

Nobody's forcing the food down my throat, you say? Well their may be a person who can watch others each turkey, mac and cheese and Red Velvet cupcakes and say, "pass the salad!" or "no thanks!", but I am not she...

5) Ho Ho Hell

This isn't so much as a complaint, but an observation, but when did Santa become an enforcer? I was  in the mall when a little boy started throwing a temper tantrum and his mom looked at him and said, "Ok, I'm going to call Santa!" The boy's eyes widened as if he was just threatened with the Boogie Monster and he started wailing, "Please don't tell Santa Mommy, I'll be good, please, please PLEASE...."

Geesh, I know parents have always done it, but isn't it just a little sad that your kid will listen to a fat, gray haired man he has never seen before he'll listen to you?

So, I'm standing in the middle of the store with my latest purchase in hand, tallying up in my head how man weeks it is going to take me to recover financially from this year's Christmas, and all I can ask myself is, why I'm doing any of this at all? Maybe that's why Charlie Brown's Christmas continues to be a must see for the Holidays after all these years because Charlie Brown and the rest of The Peanuts Gang seem to get it, even when we don't.